My debut mixtape "Keeping it 3Hunna" is now live!!!

For the past month and a half, my close (and long-suffering) best friend Josh Witt and myself have put together a five track mixtape called Keeping it 3Hunna, housing three rerecorded and remastered originals we composed earlier this year and two rap remixes of songs by DeJ Loaf and Bobby Shmurda, respectively. Creating some kind of mixtape or album has long been a passion of mine and I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to record and release a mixtape.

I'm also holding a contest to receive a sneak peek at the next mixtape, a week earlier than its planned release. All you need to do is download or listen to the mixtape and write a three paragraph review of it. Send it to me, or, preferably, post it on your Facebook with the AudioMack link (below this) to be entered into the contest. I'll pick my favorite review and that person will win the sneak preview to my sophomore mixtape. Also, it doesn't matter what rating you give the mixtape - whether you give it one star or four stars, it all depends on how well-written your criticisms and comments of praise are.

I look forward to reading them and hearing all feedback, positive or negative. Keeping it 3Hunna can be downloaded at the following link, https://www.audiomack.com/album/steve-107/keeping-it-3hunna

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #1: Denis Leary - "Merry Fuckin' Christmas"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

Song #1: Denis Leary - "Merry Fuckin' Christmas" (2004)

Merry F#%$in' Christmas

"All the kids go to bed each night to dream what Santa brings 'em; unless they're Jewish, or Muslim, or some other jip religion."

We end "The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski" with the blog series' most cynical endeavor, which just so happens to be my all time favorite Christmas song: "Merry Fuckin' Christmas" by Denis Leary. The title is so blunt and straight-forward that just seeing it begs you to listen to it, and when one makes the wise decision, they are greeted with a hardened, brutally-honest reiteration of Christmas conventions, everything from the weather being "so cold you could catch your death" and the onslaught of "crappy Toys flying off the shelves."

Leary, who saw his song "Asshole" appear on "The One-Hundred Songs of Steve Pulaski" blog series this past summer, is zealous in his critiques and observations of the holiday season, providing for some of the funniest lyricism this side of Christmas carols. He's vulgar and unapologetically honest with his lyrics, and being older and less interested in Christmas (now that I have a job, I usually wind up working the entire week), this song is perfect to listen to on the drive to work on Christmas Eve (I'll probably have it turned up all the way when I'm going to work today).

"Merry Fuckin' Christmas" is miserable, but its observations have an honesty to them, critiquing the materialism of Christmas and the hilarious depictions of a Santa with bourbon breath or midgets donning their elf apparel. With Leary's great lyricism and the song having an addicting beat, I'm proud to call this my favorite Christmas song; it's also best served with a viewing of Bad Santa to complete one's cynical Christmas.

Give "Merry Fuckin' Christmas" a listen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z44ZPjYpcv4

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #2: Toby Keith - "Little Drummer Boy"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

Song #2: Toby Keith - "Little Drummer Boy" (2007)

A Classic Christmas

"I have no gift to bring, pa, rum, pa, pum, pum. That's fit to give a king, pa, rum, pa, pum pum. Rum, pa, pum, pum."

Every time I have tried to tell friends, family, or acquaintances that one of the best renditions of "Little Drummer Boy" I have ever heard comes from country artist Toby Keith, I'm met with rolling eyes or casual dismissal, even if I try to keep the straightest face. While I realize country is one of the most divisive musical genres alongside hip-hop, and Toby Keith is a "love him or hate him" kind of artist, his version of "Little Drummer Boy" remains my favorite. For one, Keith's trademark deep, baritone voice allows the song to be sung in a terrifically affecting way, and one that makes for an inanely catchy and infectious rhythm all the more. Keith also utilizes his instrumentation options in a perfect manner, allowing them to be explosive at the right times and regressive at others, making each "rum, pa, pum, pum" all the more intoxicating. 

Before you give yourself a headache from all the eye-rolling, all I can say is give it a listen below.

Give "Little Drummer Boy" a listen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77_9X8jfzUk

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #3: Daniel Brochu - "Baxter Day"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

 

Song #3: Daniel Brochu - "Baxter Day" (2000)

Arthur's Perfect Christmas

"Stop whatever you're doing, let me hear you say, 'today is Baxter day!'"

While "The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski" has been plastered with unconventional Christmas tunes, "Baxter Day," an original song taken from the TV show Arthur's Christmas special Arthur's Perfect Christmas, is an ode to unconventionality. The song is named after the character Buster Baxter (voiced by Daniel Brochu), who sees his mom hustle and break her back to give him a great Christmas every year. Upset at her constant restlessness and evident dissatisfaction with the holidays, Buster creates "Baxter Day," a day leading up to the holidays that entitles them to just stay in their pajamas, have fun, and lounge around the house all day, not even having to leave the house or get out of bed. It's a day dedicated to him and his mom and reminds us that these kinds of "relaxer days" are what we all need. It also hails from my favorite Christmas special from one of my all-time favorite Television programs.
 

Give "Baxter Day" a listen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xI_3Am563V4

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #4: Swing Cats - "Rock Santa Rock"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

Song #4: Swing Cats - "Rock Santa Rock" (2001)

Swing Cats Presents A Rock-a-Billy Christmas

"I'm comin' home for Christmas, so let's go, man, go!"

I was almost going to let "Rock Santa Rock" by the Swing Cats go uncredited, as I did not discover who sung the song until fairly recently. I first heard the song in the 2001 film I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, during a montage of when young Dustin (Cole and Dylan Sprouse) is attempting to rig traps for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. The song instantly resonated with me, as it wasn't a conventional Christmas tune and had an uptempo sound to it. The Swing Cats conduct the song in a manner reminiscent of classic fifties and sixties tunes, despite being a fairly recent song, and serves as one of the most fun Christmas songs I know. 

Give "Rock Santa Rock" a listen,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTINBGO5Zk

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #5: The White Coffin Terror - "Silent Night, Deadly Night"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

 

 Song #5: The White Coffin Terror - "Silent Night, Deadly Night" (2011)

Psychobilly Christmas

"Silent night, deadly night. Everyone's all bloody red tonight!"

Two years ago, I was pleasantly surprised by the horror film Silent Night, which billed itself as a partial remake to the controversial eighties slasher Silent Night, Deadly Night, and how well-done it was for a low-key horror film. One thing I still remember even after two years is the hilarious and insanely catch end credits song from the film, "Silent Night, Deadly Night" by a heavy-metal band called The White Coffin Terror. The song is a raucous and hugely entertaining subversion of the Christmas classic everybody knows, shredding the tranquil and comforting ambiance for something more explosive and along the lines of breakneck heavy metal.

The song works because of the extremities brought forth by the cut-throat lyricism of the song, which includes often graphic visualizations of murder and bloodshed, making this a hilarious offbeat Christmas song I thoroughly love. Any attempt to subvert or completely transform the way a Christmas classic works gets immediate points for me, and The White Coffin Terror turned "Silent Night, Deadly Night" into a terrific example of grim holiday fun.

Give "Silent Night, Deadly Night" a listen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6B5o9t9-KQk

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski:" Song #6: Gayla Peevey - "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas"

"The Ten Christmas Songs of Steve Pulaski"

Song #6: Gayla Peevey - "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" (1953)

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" - Single

"Mom says the hippo would eat me up, but then, teacher says the hippo is a vegetarian."

I was working late at the liquor store late on Christmas Eve; it was around 7pm and we still had two more hours to go on what had already been a taxing and absolutely exhausting day. The Christmas vibes were in full swing, with people coming in with Christmas attire on, snow on the ground, and Christmas music blaring over the store's radio, cycling through what seemed to be an equal mesh of tolerable Christmas tunes and insufferable ones. Suddenly, one came on the radio I had never even heard of, and the music-recognition app Shazam informed me it was Gayla Peevey's 1953 novelty tune "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." Now this was my kind of Christmas song.

The song is clearly a product of the fifties, from the occasionally-scratchy, sensitive microphone being utilized to the classic instrumentation of the song, which has trumpets blaring at several moments in the song. The song featured a ten-year-old Peevey singing about how the only thing she wants for Christmas is a hippopotamus, to feed, wash, and massage, despite the potential dangers and the overall improbability of living with a hippo, as told by her mother. 

The song perfectly captures the asinine gifts you want when you're young, whether they be the hottest toy on the market that year or, on the other hand, something completely unrealistic or silly. It's when your imagination takes over your rational thinking, and you become entranced with asking for the most ridiculous thing just because you have a free pass. However, "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" is made such a wonderful song not just by its themes and its qualities relatable to children with overactive imaginations, but Peevey's unique singing voice, only emphasized and exploited in the best possible way when set to such large and infectious orchestration. 

This is one of the most peculiar Christmas classics in a blue moon, rarely occupying the same breath as other holiday staples, but this one's hilarity and goofiness needs to be more formally recognized and seen as a great addition to the holiday season.

Give "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas" a listen, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjwiwcUKK1c